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I Don’t Want To Do This Anymore
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I Don’t Want To Do This Anymore - 9/3/2009 3:32:52 PM
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Allie_cat
Posts: 38
Joined: 3/24/2006
Status: offline
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It's been a while since I wrote a song and after I talked about my thoughts I was encourged to write them down. So here it is.
Allie
I Don’t Want To Do This Anymore
By Allie Duffy
It’s been a long day
Didn’t sleep a wink last night
Kept thinking about you
Until the morning light
I just can’t believe
You walked out on me again
Mumbling as you left
About you’re new girl friend
I don’t want to do this, anymore
You tore my world apart
When you slammed that door
I just can’t take this pain
All over a g a I n
I don’t want to do this, anymore
I ‘m looking in the mirror
Deciding what to wear
I ‘m looking pretty ragged
Need to do something with my hair
Going out on the town
Maybe I can drown my pain
It’s seems really hard
To start over again
I don’t want to do this, anymore
You tore my world apart
When you slammed that door
I just can’t take this pain
All over a g a I n
I don’t want to do this, anymore
I go out to a local pub
The place that we met
Keep looking around
But I haven’t seen you yet
I’m approached by others
All asking for a dance
But they all look like you
So they don’t stand a chance
I don’t want to do this, anymore
You tore my world apart
When you slammed that door
I just can’t take this pain
All over a g a I n
I don’t want to do this, anymore
I’m going home alone
To a lonely darkened house
The silence reminds me
You did the walking out
I'll change these locks
Throw away your keys
Cause your walking out
Has set me free.
I don’t want to do this, anymore
You tore my world apart
When you slammed that door
I just can’t take this pain
All over a g a I n
I don’t want to do this, anymore
No I’m not gonna do this anymore
< Message edited by Allie_cat -- 10/14/2009 4:47:04 PM >
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RE: I Don’t Want To Do This Anymore - 9/4/2009 4:19:26 AM
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Swoop80
Posts: 3072
Joined: 12/24/2003
From: Texas, of course
Status: offline
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hurts to find out someone isn't what/who you thought...
The last line is the strongest and most important. It shows determination and a desire to take control back. Nobody can "make you happy"... they can only share in whatever happiness you own. I've got a song around here somewhere about that...haha
I like the way this song depicts someone in hurt and hanging on - but I like better the way they seem to take their life back right at the end.
Nice one, Allie.
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RE: I Don’t Want To Do This Anymore - 9/29/2009 10:49:18 PM
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hip_5089
Posts: 5650
Joined: 10/19/2005
From: Georgia
Status: offline
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Allie, I like this song except for the last lines. Unlike Swoop. However I have to say that I believe it is word choice that gets me. I have a suggestion for you if you would like:
I’m going home alone
To a lonely darkened house
The silence reminds me
You did the walking out
and in keeping with your patttern from the previous verses of having 2 parts I would suggest this for a second part:
I'll change these locks
throw away your keys
'cause your walking out
has set me free.
Not sure what you think of it or if it fits to your rhyme and meter but I just felt the "louse" line was a bit lacking. I hope you keep working this and post us a sample.
< Message edited by hip_5089 -- 9/29/2009 10:52:42 PM >
_____________________________
Be safe, but keep a finger near the trigger.
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RE: I Don’t Want To Do This Anymore - 10/7/2009 6:24:34 AM
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cpova
Posts: 3349
Joined: 6/23/2004
From: Fayettenam, NC
Status: offline
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"louse" does seem a little out of place for me too. overall, it's great writing. kinda the words i couldnt come up with when this happened to me recently, so it holds a significance.
one question though, what is the story behind typing again as "a g a I n"?
_____________________________
No matter where you go, there you are.
www.myspace.com/pova_nator
Do or do not......there is no try
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RE: I Don’t Want To Do This Anymore - 10/13/2009 3:07:13 PM
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Allie_cat
Posts: 38
Joined: 3/24/2006
Status: offline
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Guys, Thanks for the comments. :) I used louse because what I really was thinking was much worse and I don't think it would have been appreciated if I wrote those words here.
Pova on again that was just a type o.
I'm looking into the changes hip suggested and will probably finish this song.
Gary I moved on from the relationship unfortunately the only thing I got from it was a song.
Allie :)
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